Running the Good Race

Pictures of You, Pictures of Me

2012-02-02T15:52:00.000-08:00

I come from a small city in Northern Indiana called Granger, where I live in the basement of a small yellow house, in a room all by myself. Plastered all over the walls of that room are pictures that each tell a thousand words. There is a picture of my family from my high school graduation: Megan, my 17 year old sister who loves Jack Sparrow and playing ~~the~~ guitar; Hunter, my 14-year-old brother who still thinks girls have cooties and loves playing video games; Taylor, my 11-year-old brother who hates being called “cute” but loves drawing pictures for his big sister to hang up on the walls of her dorm; my mom, whose age will remain unsaid but who just turned another year older on Saturday and enjoys worshipping on stage at church; and my dad, who loves bragging that he is 4 months younger than my mom and is also on the pastoral staff at Granger Community Church. A few inches over is a picture that takes me back 7 years to when I was in 7^th grade. In the picture is a little girl in pigtails, running a race in a t-shirt that looks more like a dress, amidst hundreds of runners, most of whom are adults. This picture was taken during my first 5k; the beginning of my career as lifelong runner. I never had an easy time as a runner, but something about it kept drawing me back and I have to say I am somewhat addicted now. On the opposite wall is a picture of myself and my 4 best friends all dressed up for prom, with goofy smiles on our faces and giving the camera a thumbs up. Teddy, Jacob, Cassie, and Cory have been a very important part of my life. We are always there for each other, whether it means getting together at 3 in the morning to comfort Cassie when she broke up with her boyfriend, or them driving 3 hours to pick me up at Taylor, just so we could spend the weekend together. All of these moments captured in picture form are very precious to me, but I have no way of hanging up a photo of the biggest part of my life; Jesus Christ. He’s my best friend; I can and do go to Him for anything and everything and He accepts me as I am but helps me see areas of my life I can improve in. He’s my Father; always there to protect me and show me what is best, even when I fight Him to the point of telling Him I won’t listen anymore. Even when I blatantly ignore Him though, He is always and will always be my God, and I in no way deserve the grace and mercy He has shown me. Although these pictures don’t do the life they held justice, they are alive with memories of people and events that have shaped who I am and what I stand for.

Step by Step

2012-01-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

I was public schooled from K-12 and I learned a lot of important lessons; such as how to stand strong when everyone else is against me, and how to face the consequences when I do something wrong. I also learned what music I'm supposed to listen to, what stores I need to shop at in order to be "cool", how to flirt with boys (although according to my friends, that is still an area I need help in), and what social classes individual people belong in.

I loved school up until my Senior year of high school when senioritis kicked in. That's when I realized how unimportant all of that stuff was. Unfortunately for me, even though I made that realization and started changing some of it (such as taking my schoolwork more seriously), the things I had learned over the past 11 years were deep inside me and it would take a long time to dig them out. When I got to Taylor, I had so many misconceptions about the world. I honestly thought that every attractive guy was a complete douche bag. I thought every pretty girl was a superficial snob who only cared about "getting guys". I thought freshmen were at the bottom of the food chain and everyone else was better than them. I thought dating the football player made the girl popular. I learned so many things unconsciously through the years, and now I'm having to consciously turn them away each and every single day. These misconceptions have made me an extremely judgmental person, which I absolutely hate admitting.. but it's true. It isn't until I meet the pretty girl or the attractive boy that I realize just how wrong those pre judgements are.

Public schooling has been great for me; it has really taught me to be a confident young woman who has a strong relationship with Jesus Christ, and honestly, I wouldn't go back and change that. However, I am still undoing a lot of bad it did in my life, and that is going to be a long and painful journey.

I'm High on Life :)

2012-01-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have those moments when you just can't help but smile because you are so high on life? These are the things that have me that way right now...

1) The love of GOD, and His forgiveness and mercy.
2) Indianapolis
3) Incredible workouts
4) Best friends
5) Movies
6) Laughter
7) My wing
8) A boy
9) J-Term
10) Going home
11) Nerd watches
12) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
13) Bananas
14) 40 degree whether
15) Ryan Hall making it to the Olympics

2012-01-16T16:29:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in having regrets.. if not for the things that happened in my past, where would I be today? Who would I be? What would I be doing?

Sometimes though, I can't help wondering if I would be better off today if I had a different past. Take my last relationship, for example.

Would I be at Taylor?
Would I have as strong of a faith in God?
Would I be better at trusting people?
Would I see relationships differently?
Would I be as guarded?

I can answer those questions easily: No, No, Yes, Yes, No.

I don't regret it, but I am starting to realize how much it changed me.
It hurt me.
It scarred me.
I know I am still healing; and it is a slow and grueling process, but I also know that God is the God who HEALS and whether that be through another relationship or through throwing myself full throttle into a love relationship with Him, I have nothing to worry about.

Jesus Take the Wheel

2012-01-11T09:34:00.000-08:00

It's so easy to say "I want You and only You" when I am laying on my bed or sitting in the prayer chapel chilling with God. What I say is the truth... I DO want Him. I want Him to be my EVERYTHING. The first thought I wake up to in the morning and the One I fall asleep talking to at night. I always want Him to be the answer to the question "what's on your mind?" or "why are you smiling so big?" I don't want people to see me when they look at me, but instead GOD... the Alpha and Omega, my rock and my foundation.

The part that gets difficult though is when I leave my dorm and enter into the real world... the world of sin and distractions that are oh-so-appealing. Because quite honestly, it's a whole heck of a lot easier to focus on someone whom I can see, touch, feel, and smell. I don't have to try to see them... because they are right in front of me. When it comes to breaking a date, I would sooner break a date with God than with a teammate, wing mate, or best friend. That repulses me to admit, because God is my King; He is my father and the ONLY ONE who will NEVER leave me!

I don't want to keep Him in the backseat anymore. Jesus take the wheel.

2012

2012-01-01T16:43:00.000-08:00

The future is a scary place. In it holds the great potential for hurt, heartbreak, pain, grief. It carries with it the unknown and endless possibilities of change; the turn of a light from red to green, when we would have been perfectly happy sitting at that red light for the rest of our days. But it also brings with it the potential for happiness, joy, and real love which we may have never known. It holds the key to learning from mistakes of the past and then closing the door and opening a new one to different opportunities.
Living in the past is easy to do. It doesn't take any work. It doesn't require any imagination or dreaming. Honestly, who doesn't love sitting back and reminiscing about the "good ole days"? Laughing at old pictures, smiling about things that have been said- it's almost funny how easy it would be to spend our entire lives remembering the days that are long gone.
Almost.

If we continue reliving our past though, what is there to look forward to in the future? If we hold on to our fears from the past, how will we ever learn to conquer them in the future?

Today is the first day of a new year. January 1, 2012. What would it be like if we all made today the first day of the rest of our lives? The day we left behind everything and started over new. Learning from the mistakes of the past but leaving them there and beginning a new chapter. It's going to be hard, but it will be one heck of a ride and I plan on being in the drivers seat.. pushing through even when the roads are icy and it's all but impossible to see even 10 feet in front of me.

See, I plan on trusting that God will give me the strength to do this. And that little verse in Philippians 4:13 proves true, so I know that I have nothing to worry about.. nothing to fear.

Semester One... Check

2011-12-15T17:22:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a crazy past 3 months! I am officially done with my first semester of college, and it is hard to believe it's over already. If I could some it up in a few words... I don't think I could. But here's a little summary of what I did:

I almost got in trouble by campus safety before the school year even started

I disobeyed God and hurt several people

I broke someones heart

I failed my first test

I witnessed my first seizure.. and then another one 3 weeks later

I studied for a month for a test and still got a D+ on it

I almost failed the hardest class I have ever taken

But....

I made some friends that I know will be my best friends for life

I obeyed God, learned a ton, and grew a lot stronger

I went out 2AM to steak n shake with Henry

I went to the movies, walmart, and mcdonalds with Ariel, Gorgeous, and Stephen

I had a great time studying for Bib Lit with Jordan in the library, Union, and Sammy basement

I had lunch every day with Ariel, and towards the end of the semester with Ariel, Jono, Gorgeous, and Ethan

I stayed up until 2 or 3 studying for finals and got sick

I accidentally drank spoiled milk

I participated in a flash mob that was posted on facebook by Justin Bieber

I stayed up for 40 hours with only 2 hours of sleep and ran a total of about 15 miles on an indoor track

I learned more than I ever have and actually enjoyed it

I was able to connect things I was learning in classes to other classes I was taking

Pick a date number 3! :)

Freshmen hoedown :)

Maddawg run :)

Maddawg Pumpkin carving party :)

I studied at least 100 hours in the library this semester

My best friend, Ariel :)

Allison and Ariel :)

Habecker Hollipolooza :)

Cross Country :)

Jingle bell Jog :)

Ariel and J-Koh :)

Maddawgs :)

Overall, the good outweighs the bad. My first semester was a success :)

Wisdom

2011-11-12T10:51:00.001-08:00

In Proverbs 1, wisdom is described as a woman who really does know what is best, but to whom no one ever listens. She stands on street corners calling out to all who pass by, in hope that they will stop and listen to her words, but they would rather stay in their sinful ways than follow her wisdom. A wise person is described as one who “listens and adds to their learning” (Proverbs 1:5) and always fears the Lord. This is someone who learns from the mistakes of others as well as his own, instead of only learning from his own mistakes. As ones who come out of the womb as simple persons, wisdom isn’t something that comes naturally to us. It is something that must be attained through divulging ourselves in the Word and being in constant communication with the Father.

When I was little, I remember my dad telling us, kids, to pray “God, please give me the wisdom to know what’s right and the courage to do what’s right”, and lately that has been coming back to me a lot. I feel like it is so hard to be wise in today’s society, because what is “popular” is usually not “wise”. Wisdom is hard to come by these days, and praying for wisdom might just be praying for others not to like me, but that is a chance I am more than willing to take. I have done a lot of foolish things in my life, simply because I didn’t listen to the wisdom of others who knew more than I did. I had to try it out for myself because, who knows? I might have been the exception. The biggest hang up for me is that often, I know the wise thing to do; I just haven’t the courage to do it. Dear God; Please give me not only the wisdom to know what is right, but also the courage to do what is right.

Psalm 1

2011-10-24T17:56:00.000-07:00

Our days are filled with updating our twitters, refreshing our feeds on Facebook, watching Fox news for the latest devastating act of nature, and flipping through Teen People to see how bad Brittany Spears got in trouble this time. These days, it is so much easier to “walk in the counsel of the wicked” (Psalm 1:1) than to “enter through the narrow gate” (Matthew 7:13). Since the Fall, the king of our world is Satan, and he rules through sinful desires. It is easy to “stand in the way of the sinners or sit in the seat of the mockers” (Psalm 1:1), and I think that is why David hits this point so hard. Not only does David tell us not to walk in the way of the wicked, but he backs up this point by giving us a way to do such things. The man who has “his delight in the law of the Lord” and “on his law he meditates day and night” (Psalm 1:2) is a blessed man. David wants us to understand that in order to live a “godly life”, we must continuously meditate on the word of the Lord. The man who does not do this is “like chaff that the wind blows away” and he “will not stand in the judgment” or “the assembly of the righteous” (Psalm 1:4-5). The Psalmist ends by saying that “the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish” (Psalm 1:6). Although it can be really tricky these days, it is so important to remember that we are called by God to live a righteous life, and most of the time that means going against the flow of the crowd. He calls us to live a life that is different from that of everyone else because He has set us apart as His; He wants us to give the world a glimpse at His love through our actions.

Wasted Thoughts

2011-08-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Why are we so good at wasting our time and energy on things that don't matter in the least?

Why spend our thoughts on people who don't truly care about us?

Why spend our anger on people who hurt us?

Why spend any time at all doing anything other than worshipping the ONLY One who loves us UNCONDITIONALLY?

"It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." -C.S. Lewis

2011-08-06T07:51:00.001-07:00

I wish people wouldn't take Gods name in vein

Happiness

2011-07-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

Happiness?

It’s not something you can easily describe… is it? There isn’t a general definition to cover the broadness of the word. It’s more of a state of being.. different for every person. If ‘happy’ was a noun, it would undoubtedly be a place everyone would want to be, it’s something we all want, but what IS it?

For me?

For me It’s listening to my favorite country song with the windows down and the volume up. It’s singing that song as loud as I possibly can without caring about the couple in the next car who are shamelessly staring. It’s dancing outside in the rain with my best friend. It’s finding a gas station at midnight when all gas stations are supposed to be closed and filling up my very empty gas tank. It’s winning that race when I thought I wouldn’t even be able to cross the start line, let alone the finish.

Happiness is a “state of being”, a sort of contentment or joy.

Happiness is something that comes from the world, and it’s a great thing. But Joy is something that comes through God. Like happiness, it can’t be properly described by just one word or with a measly dictionary definition, it’s something that comes from our love for the Lord and His love for us.

For me, joy is spending the day with a middle schooler and later receiving a note thanking me for helping her turn her life around. It’s working with an honest institution that has the same morals that I have. It’s having a best friend who is always there for me and never afraid to tell me things I need to hear…even when I scream and yell at her for speaking up.

Joy is knowing I have a God who loved me enough to send His son to die FOR ME. And who loves me enough to continue saving me every single day.

Life is Good

2011-07-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling really great about life lately. I'm not sure why... My ankle is still recuperating from being sprained, my SVT came back a month or so ago, I am seriously considering quitting my job (Sonic, not ChickFilA), and I'm super tired of the male species. So I don't know why I've felt so great lately, but I have! Life is good. I've got my best friends, my family, legs to run on, a house to keep me safe and warm, food to keep me going (and a lot of it... with the way I've been eating), a God who is bigger than everything I'm going through.. Life is good.

Summer

2011-06-07T12:45:00.000-07:00

I'm a little more than 2 months away from officially being a college student, and let me tell you.. I am beyond pumped. There are so many people that I can't wait to meet; it's a good thing I have a busy summer ahead of me or I'd be going stir crazy! I have a lot to do though before I actually make my college debut, and honestly it's kind of been stressing me out. I'm naturally a very structured person. I'm the girl who sets her clock 20 minutes ahead so she's always early to places. I'm the girl who has to know everything in everything she's doing. Ex: The exact course during a run or race, what a movie is going to be about, what my future holds. If I hadn't known I was going to Taylor University early on, I would have had the most stressful senior year ever. Sometimes I wish I was more go-with-the-flow, but I think I do well at managing this. One thing I am very consistent with is writing my schedule on the mirror in my bathroom. I don't do it for every day things, but if I have a lot on my mind and a lot I have to get done, the only way to relieve me of my stress is to write it down. Honestly, once I write down everything I have to do, it feels like a hundred pounds is lifted off my shoulder. Here are a few pictures of things I've written in the past. The first one is my summer to-do list, before I leave for college:

I hope you all have a wonderful, un stressed summer :)

No Diving

2011-05-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

"Don't touch that, it's hot!"
"Look both ways before you cross the road!"
"Don't go alone, make sure you're with someone!"
"Keep your hands out of the water!"

They're all things we've heard before; words people tell us to keep us from getting hurt. Most of the time, these words come from people we trust, people we know care about our well being. We know that they want what is best for us, and they're doing this because they want us to be safe. So why is it when someone says 'don't', our first instinct is 'do'? I think that a lot of times, we think we're invincible. "Oh, I know it's happened to every other person, but it won't happen to me." So we go ahead and do the thing we were told not to do, because there's no way it will happen to us.

I did it... a couple years ago. I jumped off of a diving board, right into what I thought was the deep end of a pool that would never end, no matter what I did. People warned me, they told me that I was going to get hurt if I wasn't careful. The pool even said "No Diving" on it, but I did it anyway. I didn't hit the bottom right away, but when I did... I hit it hard. And it hurt. I discovered that this bottomless pool wasn't really bottomless after all. It was shallow, and it ended painfully. The experience helped me learn though.. it was a lesson that couldn't be taught by simply listening to people explain to me what the pain was like. I won't be jumping off of a diving board like that again anytime soon... and I will probably be staying away from any pool for quite some time.

I think there's something inside of each of us that doesn't quite believe that the outcome will be the same for us as it is for everyone else. It's something that causes us to rebel, because we want to be different, and we have no doubt that we can be.

I do believe though, that every time I fail is just another way for me to become wiser in the only ways that matter.

Dear Incoming Freshmen:

2011-05-05T20:05:00.001-07:00

Dear Incoming Freshmen:

My name is Heather, and I am a Senior at Penn this year. I've had a lot of opportunities to reminisce this year.. mainly because it blows my mind how fast these 4 years have gone, and I've had to hit the pause button a few times just to take in everything that's happened. When I was in 8th grade, I had high schoolers telling me left and right what Penn would be like, and some of it scared the crap out of me. I wasn't sure I was mature enough to handle the situations I would come across in high school. I still remember some of the things I was told, and I'm sure you have been told some pretty scary things as well, so I thought I'd calm some of your fears, and give you some tips as to how to survive high school, as well as tell you some of the things I've learned these past 4 years.

1) Penn is huge, yes, and you WILL get lost in it. At least the first day, probably the first couple of days. But all the teachers are so nice in those first few days, that all you have to do is ask one of them for help and they'll gladly show you your way. Tip: Walk around the school a couple times before the school year starts. Play around with your locker and make sure you can get to your classes. I thought I was too cool for that my sophomore year, and ended up 25 minutes late for my first period class on the first day of school, because I couldn't open my locker OR find my class.

2) Learn how to manage your time. Middle school teachers get you all prepped for a super hard time in high school, but your freshmen year wont be much different from middle school in difficulty. However, It really kicks in sophomore year, so if you don't learn good study habits, you might struggle a little. My most difficult year was Junior year.

3) Don't save all your hard classes for Senior year. You might not want to work hard now, but as a senior... you will have even less motivation. Don't slack off your senior year either though, you'll regret it. Finish off strong.

4) Don't believe the people who tell you that no one leaves Penn a virgin! It's NOT TRUE! I am living, breathing proof. Don't get caught up in that lie.

5) Seriously...Drinking...Smoking...All that stuff? It's for idiots. Don't do it.

6) RESPECT your teachers! High school teachers are treated so poorly! They put so much work into helping us learn, and we give them nothing but disrespect. We're just plain RUDE to them!

7) I guarantee you've heard horror stories about seniors. Right? They push freshmen in the halls, call them names, etc. Yes? No. I'm not vouching for all seniors, because I know of some straight up mean kids in my grade. But there are plenty of really nice upperclassmen that will gladly help you, and even stand up for you if you're being picked on. We're not all bad.

8) Be Confident. I was told this my 8th grade year, and it has stuck with me all 4 years of high school, and literally shaped who I am. I, too, heard horror stories about seniors, and looked for all sorts of ways to protect myself from the terror. Someone told me that if I held my head high and looked like I knew what I was doing, no one would bother me. So I did, I do, and it works. I don't do it so much anymore because I'm afraid of other people, I do it because it's habit. It's apart of me now. ACTING confident has actually MADE me confident. Pretty cool, huh?

9) High school seems to be all about fitting in. I fell into that trap too. But in reality, are you going to see more than about 5 of these kids ever again after you graduate? And the kids you DO see again... are they really going to care how you dress? Girls: Dress appropriately. Think about it this way... would you want your future husband checking out some girl because she's dressed like a slut? Then don't do that to other girls.

10) Don't be afraid to be smart. This sounds really dumb, but I'm being serious. People who make fun of you for being a nerd are the ones who will be crying out in jealousy when you're getting full rides and they can't even make it into a decent college.

11) Honestly, sometimes it will suck: you'll have problems with friends, relationship issues, you'll stress out over too much school work.. But it's not the end of the world!

12) When people (like me) say that high school will be over like that, they're serious. It might not seem like it now, but these next 4 years are going to FLY! And before you know it, you'll be 3 weeks from graduation! Every year goes by faster than the last one too. Don't blink..

I don't know what you're feeling, if you're scared for high school or super pumped for it, but I do know one thing... you WILL get through it! And I bet you won't have more than a scratch ;)

Good luck in high school! Have fun, study hard, respect everyone, and be yourself. It'll be great:)

Love, Heather :)

Worship?

2011-04-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if the songs we sing as worship to our God aren't anymore than worship of ourselves. Think about it; we sing about 'joining together as one' and declaring to the world who our God is, and those songs are great! But is worship not a time where we come together and sing TO our King? Is it not where we humble ourselves before our God and and sing of our great HE is?

Or maybe worship has become less than that and I just missed the memo.

"Your Desires, Not Mine" by Steph Rorie

2011-03-29T06:48:00.001-07:00

Can you identify with this post? I sure can.

"Sometimes I wonder if God thinks I’m a broken record because seriously, I’ve prayed the same thing over a million times. Yet here I am still praying it again. I want nothing more than to be in God’s will; yet I’m scared because I don’t know what that means exactly or what that will mean in the future. I know what I hope it means, but what if God and I aren’t on the same page here. Could that be? It’s weird. I’ve grown up in the church always hearing “you have not because you ask not”, but I have to be honest. Sometimes I “ask not” because I’m scared what the answer may be. This morning as I was sitting here, journal in hand, I found myself debating whether or not I should pour out my heart’s longing to God, or instead should I carefully select what I say. Do you realize how crazy that sounds?!? I had to laugh at myself… seriously. I’m ridiculous. Whether I write it down or not, it’s still on my heart and still in my mind… and he knows what I’m thinking. As I took time to explore what James was really getting at with this whole “ask not, receive not” thing I began to see it a little differently. In James it says “You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives...” It then goes on to say to humbly submit yourselves to Him. But how do I do that? What does it mean to humble yourself before him and what does true submission look like? There’s a quote from Richard J. Foster that totally rocked my world when Trace and I were dating. Although Foster is talking about submitting yourself to others, I think he also sheds light on submission before your Father too. In his book he says, in submission “it is of little consequence that our plans are frustrated if their plans succeed.” That’s it. That’s submission. Life isn’t about my plans; it’s about His plans. How do I submit myself to Him? By letting go of my plans and hanging on to His. So then the question becomes, is my heart’s desire His desire? The only way to know is to focus on what he has for me here and now and in time I will know. After all, there’s no point worrying about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Right?"

The Big Picture

2011-03-29T04:22:00.000-07:00

In high school, it's hard to think that there's life beyond these 4 walls. That even though in the moment it seems like such a huge deal, in 5, 10, 15 years... we'll look back and laugh at our naivety. High school is full of drama, and it's easy to heighten that to the point where our problem is more important than the battles going on in Libya or the issue of national debt. It's easy to think that our problem is bigger than the millions of people who live on the streets and are struggling just to find a few dollars for food. In reality though, we're just a bunch of rich kids who find pleasure in creating drama because it keeps life interesting...right? I think if we would just step back and look at the big picture, we would see that our little drama is so miniscule compared to everything else that goes on daily in this world. It's not the end of life as we know it, we're not going to die, and the world is not going to end. What will happen is maybe we'll learn a few lessons.... maybe we'll make a few haters (what did they matter anyway though?)... and maybe we'll see who our friends really are, even though we made such a mess. Does that really sound so bad?

I Love..

2011-03-27T18:51:00.001-07:00

I love talking on the phone

I love spinning in the rain

I love climbing trees

I love trekking through the woods

I love books and movies that make my heart beat fast

I love trying to understand God

I love learning new things

I love getting excited

I love making plans

I love wearing dresses

I love running on unexplored paths

I love teasing my brothers

I love laughing so hard that my stomach hurts

I love not being able to stop smiling

I love just being with you

I love driving with my windows down and my music up

I love the way chap-stick feels on chapped lips

I love compliments

I love being on time

I love loving and being loved

"Stronger" by Mandisa

2011-03-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

Real Love

2011-03-24T19:12:00.000-07:00

I am a HUGE romantic. I see love in everything; from the look in a mans eyes as he gazes at his wife, to two people walking hand in hand on a sidewalk in the city, to the way a boy talks about how beautiful his girlfriend is. One of my favorite parts of the Notebook is at the very end, when Noah and Allie are taken away together, because I just can not imagine a more perfect way to die. Some say they feel bad for whomever I may date in the future, because I have such high expectations; but I am so easily pleased by the littlest of things...you can give me a dandelion you picked off the side of the road and I would think it was the cutest thing ever. I'd be euphoric for days.
Don't get me wrong, I love...love. I love day dreaming and imagining the perfect date, the perfect first kiss, the perfect wedding (all of which I have planned out..), but all of this romance stuff has given me a pretty unrealistic view of what love really is. I realized a few weeks ago that 'love' isn't the cute romantic dates, or words that send you to cloud nine for a few days. Sure, that's involved, but I believe REAL love is a choice. It's something you have to choose every single day, or it's going to burn out.
Being the romantic that I am, I always make time to read articles about marriage, relationships, etc., and recently I read one from Relevant Magazine that scared me a little bit. It was from the point of view of the wife, and she was talking about how her and her husband started questioning "why are we married?", and she discussed the hardships of keeping their marriage together. It made me realize that even when a couple may seem like they're so in love, it doesn't mean they don't have to work at it each and every day.

I'm 18. My grandparents got married at 17. I think I may wait a few years....I still have a lot to learn.

The Comparison Game

2011-03-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

It's really easy for me to fall into the comparison game and compare myself with everyone and everything. I'm naturally competitive, so I always want to beat people at anything I'm doing. I don't think it's bad to be competitive, because it gives me my drive and motivation. However, when it is the reason for how I feel about myself...THAT is when it begins to become a negative thing.

I think winning is a confidence booster for anyone, but for me, losing (or not being as good as someone else, in my eyes) is something that makes my confidence go down a lot. It then consumes me until I can convince myself that I'm just as good, or better than them. What a cycle! It's awful, and it doesn't look pretty at all when I see it in words.

My comfort is that God knows what I'm struggling with, and He can get me through this. I'm not just going to sit back and do nothing though... I've already made a plan of action (plans... it's what I do best;)), and soon I'll be free!

Love

2011-03-18T12:23:00.001-07:00

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.” ~Louis de Bernieres

Words

2011-03-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

I sit there silently staring ahead, my mind whirling, spitting out words I long to say, but haven’t the courage to. Questions I wish I could ask, but that never seem to make it to my lips. My heart screams at me to say those words. The words I desperately want to say.

Just say it.

I can’t.

Do it!

No.

What is holding me back? Is it fear? Or control? Maybe both. It’s a daily struggle, a constant battle; I search for loop holes, for slips in the conversation, but you know me too well. I have so many questions, so many things I want to say. My heart is calling out at me, begging me to put my thoughts into words, but I can’t. I won’t. Not yet. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one. But I know that’s not true. You’re in this too. Struggling to find the right words to say, while being ever so cautious. Occasionally saying what you don’t mean, to keep your guard up. To keep my guard up. The questions are becoming uncontainable, my lips long to form the letters of those words that I desire to say. One last time, I push them down. Someday I will be completely transparent. I promise. But tonight, as you sit by your phone waiting for a response…tonight, “goodnight” will have to suffice.

What's this race all about?

2011-03-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

I've been running for over 7 years now, and I've loved it because it gives me a chance to glorify God in my own way. Well, about 5 months ago, I really felt God pushing me to take a step and use my passion for running in a more public way, by helping those in need. My original thoughts were to get a group of friends together and get sponsored to run a bunch of races, and then donate the money we earned to some organization. The more we thought and talked about it though, the bigger our dreams became and this little dream turned into a much bigger dream of actually directing a 5k race. We started evolving this dream into reality weeks later, and here is an article that tells a little more about what we're doing:

"It happens all the time – kids giving the wrong impression on their Facebook page. But sometimes, the social network scene has its own way of working things out.
Last fall, after the high school cross country season ended, Penn Senior Heather Stevens Facebooked that she wanted her friends to join her in running a race, getting sponsors, and then donating the money for a faith-based cause.
“Well, I mistook it as her wanting to actually run a race,” said Kristina Galat, fellow XC teammate at Penn. Heather liked Kristina’s idea even more. They put a new message out, this time explaining they wanted to plan and host a new race, one coordinated solely by students. They were soon joined by three Riley XC runners who were in a bible study with Kristina – Jake and Rachel Titus, and Alyssa Neece.
The five are the Michiana running community’s newest -- and youngest -- race directors, putting together the pieces for a 5K run/1-mile family walk that will be held on Sunday, May 22, at Ox Bow Park in Elkhart.
“We wanted to do something a little different to bring people in, so that is why we are planning it for 7 o’clock at night,” Kristina said. They have been offered help by their parents, but no, the group believes people will appreciate the event more if they know if was completely done by kids.
They chose to work with Samaritan’s Purse to channel their donation to a needy African community. Among the causes that have caught their attention is building wells for safe drinking water.
For now, it’s logistics. With location, date, time, and race format secured, their next step is to go out into the community and find sponsors for bibs, hydration and fuel, and other expenses they know they will have to cover. There’s plenty of work ahead for this group’s off-season, but it’s all for the cause.

If you or your business is interested in learning more about being a sponsor or donating to this race, please Facebook RPM or e-mail the paper at raceplaymichiana.com, re: Ox Bow." (www.raceplaymichiana.com)

Like the article states, our race, entitled "Living Water" is to be held on May 22 at Oxbow County Park. This is something all of us believe very strongly in, and we're hoping that we will set an example of Christ to others. If that is all we accomplish, we will have been successful. However, our desire is to have 100 runners participate, and to do that we need sponsors and/or donations. If you would like to participate in our race, you can sign up at www.livingwater5k.viviti.com. If you would like to sponsor, donate or volunteer with/to our cause, email us at livingwaternightrun@gmail.com, or you can give us a call at 574-344-6362. We would love to have your help :)

"...Plans to give you a hope and a future"

2011-03-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

When I was little, one of my favorite things to do was play "school" with my siblings and neighbors. I would give them homework and grade their papers; I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I remember having sleepovers with my best friend Kaylen, and staying up literally all night long playing school. We just gave each other homework for hours! When it was too late to be in the tree house, we'd come inside and play school in our beds.

I never really thought that was what I would do when I was 'grown up' though. My intentions as a little girl were to be A) a gymnast in the Olympics and B) a famous artist. Eventually, it changed to being a video editor. It wasn't until recently that I discovered my TRUE passion. Teaching.

I am in a Cadet Teaching program at Penn, where I actually get to go out into elementary schools and observe different teachers and how they teach. Recently, I was placed in a school with a teacher whom I will stay with for the whole second semester. This has instilled in me even further a huge passion to teach when I'm out of college. I love the thought that I'm having a direct influence on the lives of my FUTURE! These kids could turn out to be anything, and I have the opportunity to influence who they become. Scary? Yes. A huge responsibility? Oh definitely. But it's something I'm more than willing to take up.

The looks on the kids faces when I walk into the classroom makes it so worth it. They are always so excited to see me, to talk to me, to give me high fives...they sure know how to make a girl feel welcome! I got the opportunity to teach my first lesson on Friday, and it was so much fun. Each and every one of them listened so intently to me, and I literally had kids sitting on the floor 2 feet from my feet! They made it fun to teach, and they participated, which made it a lot easier on me. I'm teaching 4th and 5th graders right now, which is what I would like to teach after college...It's the perfect grade, because they're not as crazy and energetic as kindergartners, but they're still cool enough to enjoy school and love on their teachers!

I guess we'll see what happens :)

You Make Me Smile :)

2011-02-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

These are the things that made me smile this week :)

1) Watching the excitement on the kids faces when I walk into the classroom (I cadet teach at Northpoint)
2) I got to give a spelling test to the 4th graders today!
3) Getting my first A EVER in math
4) Seeing a man crack up at something while driving
5) Listening to a song and realizing it has more God in it than the writer probably intended
6) RUNNING
7) Creating pretty much the best birthday present in the entire world... and imagining his face when he opens it :)
8) Knowing that I get to go to TAYLOR next week!!
9) Listening to Cassie give a speech..... on me!
10) Finding pictures that I had completely forgotten about :)

To a 'Friend'

2011-02-15T13:41:00.000-08:00

I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but what you did really did hurt me. I thought I made it clear that it hurt, so why did you go on and do it anyway? You had a chance to fix it, but you went ahead and did it anyway. I'm not mad, I'm just hurt... and disappointed.. like I told you so many times that day. What I don't get is why you're even still friends with them? Why do you continue hiding behind your popularity and boys, just to make it look like you have friends? Those girls are NOT your real friends! They do not care the least bit about you! You said it yourself.... if you didn't go, they would gossip about you. Some friends. I remember at one time we were a 'forever and always'.. destined to be best friends forever. That dream came and went when you picked your popularity over me. I know that this is all my fault, for trying to make something out of nothing, but just help me understand.... why? Yeah, yeah, it's not a big deal, and I'm sure I'll get over it eventually... but for right now, forgive me if I keep my distance. I guess that's what I do when I'm knocked down from behind.

From, Heather

"I've Learned" by Omer B. Washington

2011-02-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
And it's not the end of the world.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't five me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love
and be loved.
I've learned...

Omer B. Washington

Why do we like to hurt so much?

2011-02-07T14:14:00.001-08:00

Confession

2011-01-29T18:44:00.000-08:00

I've been a Pastors Kid all my life, and when you go to school with the same kids for 12 years, they find things out whether you tell them or not. I was never ashamed of the fact that my dad was a pastor; I thought it was the coolest thing ever so I didn't try to hide it from them. That backfired on me though in middle school when I started asking questions, and kids refused to tell me because they didn't want to 'corrupt' me.

Now, I understand that what may be going through some of your heads is "It's good not to know things sometimes!"
Well, yes, I agree, however... I'm not the biggest fan of being so ignorant that I say things in public that everyone except me knows is probably not the best thing to say in public. You know? I get so excited when I actually understand what someone is saying, that I may laugh at an inappropriate joke just because I know what it means.

This is what I've decided. It is good to be guarded. People are stupid... knowing everything isn't always the best way to go...Adam and Eve found that out the hard way. BUT, I do think it's possible to be too guarded. What happens when you go out into the real world and find out it's so much different than what you thought all along?

13 Truths

2011-01-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

1) Naps are a gift from God
2) Technology makes connecting with people from far away a whole lot easier
3) I'm probably the luckiest girl in the world
4) If I could, I would live in Champion running gear
5) Being the same is so boring
6) People who think pre calc is applicable in the real world are kidding themselves
7) Sure, the snow's beautiful, but try driving in it. And who wants to be cold all the time? Not me.
8) True friends are hard to find.
9) "Its not about being who everyone else wants you to be. It's about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it"
10) Creeping is okay and socially accepted
11) College is at the same time far too close as it is way too far away
12) Number 11 scares me
13) I'm a dreamer <3

Anyway..

2011-01-23T12:56:00.000-08:00

"A best friend is someone who knows all about you, and loves you anyway"

That is one of the best feelings in the world

Friends

2011-01-05T14:23:00.000-08:00

"How many of your friends did you keep from middle school?"
"Umm, I'm not really friends with any of the people I was friends with in middle school anymore."

Wow. Isn't that crazy? When you're in middle school, everything that happens is magnified to the hugest extent. When your boyfriend breaks up with you, it's the end of the world. When you get a D on your math test, you go home crying. When you have to buy a school lunch, you're in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Middle school is all about learning who you are, forming friendships, and discovering where you fit in the mix of things, but it's funny how little you bring over from middle school to high school.

When I was in middle school, I don't really know if I was popular or not; I'd like to think I was somewhere in the middle. I was just your average girl- I loved my friends, was repulsed by boys, and wanted ever so badly to achieve all A's in my classes. I had a mix of friends. Some of them were great influences on me, and others not so much. What I said wasn't completely true....I am still close with a few of my middle school friends... but most of the girls I spent all my time with, I now know nothing about.

I'm not sad about the changes made in my friendships when I transitioned from middle to high school, it was a good and desperately needed change, and I will never regret falling away from those friends.

This does bring across a very sober thought in my mind though........how many of my best friends from high school will I still be friends with in 5 years? 10 years? What about next year?

One of my friends said this to me the other day: "God brings people into your life for a season...." and it saddened me to some extent, but I also realized how true it is.

The one thing that scares me the most about going off to college this coming fall is how it is going to effect my relationships. How many people that I'm close with right now will I walk by in a year without even saying 'hello'?

Then again..... how many new and great friends will I meet that, had I stayed here, I never would have met?

....You're right. God DOES bring people into your life for a season. I'm anxious to see what friends this next season of life holds for me!

The Quirks of HEATHER :)

2010-12-29T15:21:00.000-08:00

Me and my best friend Cassie Hallam are really awkwardly alike... We have SO many things in common that it scares me sometimes. She just wrote a blog post on her quirks.

Here is a condensed version of what she wrote....because these are the things we have in common.

- I cry a lot. I've been called a "drama queen" more times than I can count. Wooop dee doooo.

- Don'tevengetmestartedononewordtexts.Thesehavethepotentialtomakeorbreakourfriendship.Nuffsaid.

- Don't even dare turn on Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Thank you and goodnight! I hate when people start Christmas in July! Yes, I've also been called the grinch on several occasions.

- I cannot wear nice clothes around the house. No way. Not happenin. If I get in to "nice" clothes (and by nice, I mean jeans and a cute shirt) to go out, the first thing I do when I come home is slip right back in to shorts and a t-shirt. Or if it's winter, big sweatpants and a sweatshirt three sizes too big.

- Night lights? Check NO THANKS. I can't sleep if there is one SLIVER of light in my room! Blinds shut. Door closed (sometimes with a blanket shoved under the crack of space that lets in light at the bottom of the door). And a blanket over that obnoxious green light that from the clock. I sometimes even wish I could find a way to cover the red light on the smoke detector on my ceiling. GEESH! Who is going to want to live with me someday!?

- PUH- LEASE. Do NOT use "text language" when texting me. I h8 when ppl feel the need 2 txt like this. C'mon ppl. Don't talk like this or we will no longer b BFFL's. Thnx.

- I have the attention span of a six year old. Or you could say that I have A.D.D. Call it what you want. Hey, is that a squirrel? (bah haha haha..good joke?....ok, no).

Here are some of the quirks I need to add in order to make it more accurate for myself :)

-I can't SIT STILL! Which is really freaking annoying when I'm in a movie theatre for 2 hours and I can't seem to find a comfortable position.

-I think I would have gotten along really well in the 1800's. I'm obsessed with being proper: good manners, good posture, and I would absolutely love to have worn those huge dresses every day!

-I wear my emotions on my sleeve. This is bad in many different ways. A) If I don't like someone or something, anyone and everyone can tell..which is just not good. B) If I DO like someone or something, anyone and everyone can tell...which is embarrassing, especially when they're all looking at ME and I can't stop smiling.

-I thrive on being BY MY SELF. I need that alone time if I want to be pleasant around people. If you want the quickest way to exhaust me, introduce me to a bunch of new people on the same day...I'll be sure to be asleep by 7:00pm that night. Some may call me an introvert.

-I'm a REBEL. If you tell me I CAN'T do something...I'm going to find a way to do it. Yikes!

-"Heather, sometimes it scares me how much of a boy you are" <---that was said by my mother when I wanted to illegally climb a water tower. I love adventures....give me rail road tracks, woods, a sewer, a tree, etc, and I'll be happy for hours on end

2010-12-22T09:16:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas! :)

2010-12-21T09:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Friend;
Do you know what holiday a lot of people don't seem to understand? Christmas. We think it's all about getting presents and eating a lot of food- even doing things for others. But if God isn't the reason we're doing those 'good deeds', we're doing them in vain. You know what I'm saying? Sure, those things are fun, but that's not what Christmas is REALLY about. I guess I'll back up a little, because you look like you're a little lost.
When God created the world, He created it in perfection, He said that it was GOOD (Genesis 4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31). He even created us in HIS OWN IMAGE! Crazy huh? The thing is, we messed that up for Him. When evil tempted us, we were a little too curious for our own good and we gave into that temptation; which caused sin to enter the world. Wouldn't it be awful if that's the way the story ended? But it's NOT!
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting lift" (John 3:16). Do you know what this verse means? It means that God loved us SO MUCH that He literally sent His son to die. Oh wait, did you catch that? I'll say it again. He sent His ONLY SON to DIE on a cross. What?! Yeah. God loved us SO MUCH that He sent His son to die so we would have eternal life with Him.
The One for the many.
Picture Christmas day, okay? Your mom hands you a gift.....what do you do? You take it, right? You take it from her hands and open it up to see what it is. What if you were to tell her that you didn't want it? Before you even opened it, you decided you'd had enough fun for the day, and you were going to close up shop. It's the same with this gift of Jesus that God gave to us. The greatest Christmas gift ever is Jesus Christ, but if we don't choose to accept the gift, it's as if it was never given to us in the first place. We have to tell Jesus that we're sorry for hurting Him, and then accept Him into our life. THAT is how we accept God's great Christmas present.
Christmas isn't to celebrate Jesus' death though, it's to celebrate His birth. We celebrate it because He is our SAVIOR. Jesus came to earth SO THAT He could save us from our sins by dying on that cross, and THAT is why we celebrate Christmas.
JESUS is the true meaning of Christmas. He truly is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas :)

Love, Heather

Hip-Oh-Crit

2010-12-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

Why do we focus so much of our time on critiquing what OTHERS are doing wrong, and what OTHERS can do better?
It seems like it's everyone's goal in life to make other people feel as small as possible, so they feel that much bigger and better.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye" -Luke 6:41-42

Get Real

2010-12-19T13:07:00.000-08:00

Something I've found is that if I'm just real with people, I discover that they just may being going through (or have gone through) the same things that I'm going through. If I keep it to myself, it feels like a giant brick that is constantly bringing me down. That's why I don't understand people who are afraid to be themselves. They gossip about other people, just to hide their insecurity. They put on a front that says they're this way, but they don't live it out at all. Honestly, I've tried doing that before - hiding who I am - but I failed miserably at it because I am awful at hiding my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I wonder who people really are. Is he really all that he says he is? Is she really the nice, sweet girl everyone thinks she is? I've seen a lot of fakeness at work in people...and it doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Why not just be REAL?!

Next Up--> 2011

2010-12-18T13:08:00.000-08:00

2010 was a good year, but I won't miss it too much. There's lots to look forward to in 2011!

Here are some of my highlights from the year 2010:
-Turning 17
-Disciple Now (retreat in Michigan)
-Visiting Taylor with Eden
-Pennstock
-Mission trip to Nashville, Tennessee
-Being captain of the Penn Cross Country team
-Hanging out with cousins from the Alley side of the family
-Starting my senior year
-Getting the best 5k time since my Sophomore year
-Meeting new friends
-Getting accepted into Taylor WITH an academic scholarship
-Getting to watch Stephen's soccer game, and hanging out with Jordan and Chaney
-"Road trip"ing with Maggie

Here are some of the things I'm looking forward to in the year 2011:
-Spring Break
-Turning 18
-NOT running track
-GRADUATION
-Assistant coaching the Penn CC team in the summer
-Heading off to TAYLOR to start the next chapter in my life.

......Should be a GREAT year : )

Writers Block

2010-12-17T14:36:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have something on your mind that you can't put into words?
Have you ever tried explaining something to someone, but not been able to think of the right word?
Sometimes I type into google "what word means ______" and it tells me the word I was trying to think of. Thank goodness for google, right?

That's beside the point. The main thing I was getting at is that I have a thought that is in my head... but it doesn't seem to want to come out.
When it does, I will be sure to enlighten you all with my profound words :)

Walking on Water

2010-12-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of mediocrity.
I want to live a life that makes people stop and stare.
I want to live a life that screams "JESUS is who I follow".
I want to live a life on the water, not in the safety and security of my boat.

Psalm 56:11 in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?

"You Are Braver Than You Believe"

2010-12-04T17:51:00.000-08:00

I found this on the official Owl City blog, and it made me think. What if life went differently than it did? What if I hadn't met this person, or that person? What if I hadn't gone to this event with this person, or if I'd responded differently to that person? Where would I be in my life? How would it be different?

"A few nights ago I was thumbing through the pages of a book someone once gave me. Tucked behind the front cover was a small slip of red paper. On it was written the following:
“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”
-Winnie the Pooh
Perhaps the most compelling quote ever credited to a portly cartoon bear. The book in my hands was tied to a long story that involved myself and the person who gave it to me. It took years to unfold, yet as I sat there thinking about it, a montage of memories flashed before my eyes and something inside began to hurt.
It was then that I caught myself subconsciously wishing things were the way I wanted them rather than the way they were meant to be. But then of course, I immediately gave it a second thought and realized what an ABSURD thing that was to be thinking and I scolded myself. Though I rarely intend to, sometimes I wish things had turned out differently… because I can’t help but wonder.

I used to know a girl who had a beautiful way of looking at the world around her. She saw the splendor and charm in everything, moment by moment, from the mundane to the wondrous. Once we sat in an empty parking lot and she showed me a page from an old astronomy textbook that depicted our planet, our solar system, our galaxy, and beyond. She pointed at the Earth, the planets, the “everything else,” and wondered aloud.
“Look how tiny we are compared to everything around us…”
So often I scornfully catch myself wishing for things I don’t have, or at least things I don’t have any right wishing for. Sometimes I wonder who I would’ve been, had past journeys been steered down different roads and headed in completely different directions. Sometimes wondering can get you into trouble because it’s often the case that you find yourself, by some mysterious form of inherent rationale, believing that you, or your life, would’ve somehow been better off, had things turned out differently. Perhaps that’s trite and pessimistic but I suppose this way of thinking is more common than we tend to gather or even realize. I try to remind myself how blessed I am to have what I have: friends, family, passions, and ultimately, a Savior.
I am immensely grateful for the life I’ve been given and for the opportunities I’ve been allowed to seize. I am altogether undeserving, and thus, so very humbled."

You're Amazing, Just the Way You Are :)

2010-12-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

Smile Like You Mean It :)

2010-11-30T18:05:00.000-08:00

These last 2 days have been great, I haven't been able to stop smiling! Here are some of the things that I smiled at :)

1) It's pretty much December and it's still warm enough to wear only a sweatshirt

2) I had no plans after school yesterday

3) I have more money in my account than I thought I had

4) Some people just make me smile :)

5) An older gentleman came up to me today at work.....
him: "thank you!"
me: "you're welcome! ....for what?"
him: "I don't know....for smiling!"

6) A gift from a friend

7) Christmas music and Christmas lights at Chick Fil A

8) Cassie is allowed to go to Snowball with me

9) My Government teacher said that the paper I wrote was great!

10) I didn't trip and fall, and nothing fell on my head. HA!

11) Three people who serve in the army came in, and since they had never been to CFA before, they got free meals

12) Christmas break is in 13 school days :)

My Story

2010-11-27T09:18:00.000-08:00

I hear stories all the time.
In songs,
from friends,
on TV,
in movies,
from family.
And everytime I hear those stories, I think
"Shoot! That's probably going to happen to me!"
or
"Aww! I wish that would happen to me!"

And I hate that! I hate that I always put other people's stories in my own life,
because it makes me afraid for what's to happen.
I'm done with that.
This is me saying that I am going to write my own story,
and it's not going to be like anyone else's!

Things That Made Me Smile Today : )

2010-11-22T19:24:00.000-08:00

- Many texts

-Getting my two tests over with

-Walking outside and realizing I didn't need a coat

-Remembering I finished my paper in Sports Lit and therefore have no homework

-My Daddy

-Being done with Financial Peace University

-Getting a parking spot in the very first row

-A compliment

-My bethel class ended a half hour early (it's only a 50 minute class)

-I found out my cousin isn't ill with a horrible disease that could end her up in a hospital (yep.. the joke was on me)

-Talking with Lindsey

How could you not smile on a day like today? There's 2 days until Thanksgiving break, and then 2 and a half weeks until Christmas break. Which means that the semester is pretty much over, and I'm almost in college. That makes for a pretty good...day : )

My Life...My Story

2010-11-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

I'm complicated
I'm impatient
I'm honest... brutally so sometimes
I love to write
I'm emotional
I'm a huge sap
I read into just about everything
I find it hard to focus
I'm an extremely curious person
I'm a sucker for a good romance movie
Sometimes I live in a dream world
I love trying new foods
I would listen to music all day long if I could
I love making people smile
I can be mean sometimes
I am an awful entrepreneur
I have a tendency to have a one track mind
I'm stubborn
I make my opinions known
I'm competitive
Bad table manners are a HUGE turn off for me. You've got to be pretty impressive to pass that test : )
I've been called 'sassy' on multiple occasions
I can be very awkward
I long to be somewhere where no one knows who I am or what my story is
I'm rebellious. Tell me that society expects me to be one way, and I'll do the opposite. It's a fault..
I 'hate' public speaking, but I kind of get a thrill from it
I'm a morning person
I'm very punctual. I hate being late...5 minutes early is on time. I love schedules, lists, anything that tells me exactly what is going to happen next and how long it's gonna be. I hate not knowing.
I can stress myself out very easily

That's me! Or, the gist of me anyway

This Week I...

2010-11-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

-Took a break from Facebook

-Stacked 500 chairs

-Ate Chipotle with my dad's money

-Talked on the phone to 5 different people

-Got my pre calc test returned...with an 85% on it

-Worked for 17 hours total

-Went out to eat with Sarah Bible and had a great conversation

-Ran

-Ignored my friends and got 3 paragraphs of my paper written during study hall

-Was called 'grumpy' for ignoring those friends

-Visited Taylor University

-Fell in love even more (with Taylor University)

-Got to be apart of 'My Gen' night at Taylor

-Met my roommate, Allison

-Paid the matriculation fee for Taylor

-Ran with the Taylor Cross Country team, and met 4 other recruits

-Worked 9 hours all at once

-Finished my paper

My biggest accomplishment of this week was being able to put away all my distractions and work solely on finishing my research paper....It taught me how to focus better.

What If....

2010-11-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

What if we stopped asking "why me?"
And started asking "what next?"

Why Taylor?

2010-11-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

All through middle school and during the first half of high school, I wanted to go to Bethel College. In fact, I KNEW I was going to Bethel, it was apart of my plan....and there wasn't any way that was going to change.
I wanted to stay close to home, and Bethel was a Christian college that seemed perfectly fitted to me. However, I thought I should pretend like I was keeping my options open by checking out other colleges...so I decided to visit Taylor University. I had a couple good friends who were interested in Taylor as well, and I had heard only good things about the school from the staff at Camp Adventure (all of whom seemed to have gone there) so I though, ehh, what the heck..I'll try it.

But then I ran into a HUGE problem.
I loved it....I absolutely loved it.
It was everything I wanted....but it wasn't apart of my plan, and THAT was the problem.

I remember coming up the stairs a few days later in tears. I had gotten out two poster boards and written the pros and cons of each school on them, so I could visualize what I liked about each school. I tried so hard to think of more cons for Taylor...but in the end, I could only think of about two. I was so stressed out; I was only a junior in high school, but I felt like I needed to figure it out that night.

Pretty much after that, I put Taylor away in my mind. I decided to just ignore it, and keep telling myself and others that I was going to Bethel, that way I would believe it myself and I would never have to think about it again. And that's what I did, and it worked too!

Once again, there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to Bethel College.

That all changed in June of 2010....in Missouri, of all places. We went to church at the beginning of the week on Saturday night, and I loved it! I love visiting other churches to see what they're doing: what the set up is, what their children's ministry is like, how they worship, what the teaching is like...it's so fun for me. I asked my dad if we could go to another church the next morning, so we did that too. And once again, I loved it. I don't remember when it happened exactly, but I remember I was laying in my bed reading my bible, and taking notes with my pen that said "Taylor University" on it. It was at that moment that I had this sudden longing to go to Taylor. The idea of going to Bethel started getting less and less appealing to me, until I couldn't even imagine myself going there. This all happened in a span of about 2 days. Literally, I started my application to Taylor 2 days later.

Now you know how I picked this school...

Here's a few reasons why...
-It's a small school, significantly smaller than my high school, which means smaller class sizes and more one on one interaction with my professors.
-It's a Christian school that is more than just a title....they actually put emphasis on the faith
-Chapel is indescribable.
-Cross Country......need I say more?
-It's 3 hours from home, which is close enough that I can go home if I need to, but far enough that I can get out of my comfort zone and meet some new people.
-I can't wait to explore the different churches!
-It's in the middle of no where...so there's lots of fun campus activities.
-I wont know hardly anyone.
-They have a really good elementary ed program, which is what I want to major in.

Was it God who prompted me to go to Taylor? I don't know. I think it was, but I don't know if anyone ever knows for sure. However, I do know that God will use me wherever I go, so I'm not worried that I chose the wrong school.

Driving

2010-11-04T14:59:00.000-07:00

I hated drivers ed. It was probably the most boring class I had ever taken as a freshmen in high school, and I always found my mind drifting off to other, more interesting things.
However, I distinctly remember one thing my teacher said:
He showed us a picture of a road, with a house on either side of it. Then he told us to imagine we're driving down that road, and we see a really hot guy at one of those houses. As we're watching this guy...our car starts to slowly drift his way, without our knowing. It was one of those things where I thought, "whatever...first off, I would never do that, and second, I'm a good driver. That would never happen to me."

Here's where that applies to real life.
I was driving to Penn today, and I saw someone in the car next to me that looked just like one of my best friends. I kept looking into the car to see if it really was who I thought it was, when I realized that my car was as close to the center line as it could go. I got back into my own lane, and instantly thought of that drivers ed lesson so many years ago. I guess I was wrong....it can happen to anyone.

Isn't that similar to our relationship with God?
In a perfect world, we would always be looking at God....and only at God. We wouldn't have a problem following His laws, and loving Him would be second nature. It would be unheard of to fall asleep while talking to Him, and Jesus would come up in our daily conversations without even having to think about it. But we live in a world of sin, where there are so many things that seem, sadly enough, much more appealing than worshipping God and living a holy life.

I do think it's possible though.
If we are always looking up to God, we wont be thrown off course by things of this world.
I was talking to my youth pastor about a year ago, and he said something that will always stick with me.

Imagine this:
A boy and a girl, facing each other and holding hands.
He said that in a lot of relationships, this is what the image looks like. Both parts of the relationship are working to get closer to God, but their eyes are always on each other. The focus is more on loving each other than on loving God.

Now imagine this:
A boy and a girl, side to side, each holding the others hand.
In this picture, both parts are working together to grow closer to God. They want FIRST to love God and SECOND to love each other. By putting God first in their lives, they're growing stronger in love with each other as well.

If we're looking towards God instead of towards the things of this world, it will allow us to love people in this world MORE than if we're looking away from God.

Fairytales

2010-10-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

A fairytale...
That's what I'm told I live in.
Giddy over the littlest things,
Such as a smile, a hug, or merely a glance,
Even just looking up at the dark night sky
Twinkling with thousands of stars
Can leave the biggest smile on my face.

My head is constantly in the clouds,
Dreaming up conversations that will never happen,
And imagining scenarios that will likely never be.
That's where I live,
In my dreams..
It's what makes me ambitious,
And passionate,
About things that most people would dub as impossible.

Maybe it's true,
But in this fairytale,
It's not all smiles and laughter.
There are tears.
There is anger.
There is frustration,
And there is pain.

In this fairytale,
A kiss doesn't wake up the princess from her sleep..
Reality does.
And sometimes that reality is even better than her fantasies,
Sometimes she finds the perfect boy,
Gets accepted into her dream school,
And finds herself surrounded by the most incredible group of friends.

But sometimes...
Sometimes life gets in the way.
She lets her emotions get the better of her and forgets to guard herself.
She isn't good enough for the spot and gets cut.
She finds herself not wanting to go to once in a lifetime events,
Because, "what if she is there? I'm not putting up with her anymore.."

Maybe my head is always in the clouds,
Maybe I do get way too excited about the smallest things in life,
And maybe even the littlest smile can light up my day like nothing,
But I don't think I live in a fairytale.

I think I live in the life of a pretty average 17 year old.
One who smiles when she's happy,
Cries when she's sad...
...And occasionally during sappy romantic movies,
One whho gets angry at people when they're jerks,

And even frustrated with herself when she reacts without thinking.

One who loves to laugh at the silliest things,
And who always seems to have a sarcastic remark to everything.

If my life is a fairytale,
It doesn't have a happy ending....
But keep on reading,
And I guarantee you that by the time the end of my fairytale comes,
It will have the happiest ending of them all.
The one where the girl meets her creator,
and yes....

They do live happily ever after :)

4 years later...

2010-10-26T14:19:00.000-07:00

3 hours of driving

1 EKG

2 Echocardiograms

3 hours of surgery

6 hours of laying completely still

3 hours of sleep (total..that night)

2 and a half movies

2 visitors

2 games of '20 questions'

1 GIGANTIC needle in my right hand

4 or 5 different nurses

8 or 9 blood pressure and temperature checks

Hundreds of prayers and "good luck" texts

and 3 hours of driving home later.....

and this little journey I've been on for the past 4 years of my life is finally over!

I'm planning on running until I'm at least 96 years old with no heart problems.

"I'm good, thanks!"

2010-10-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

I walked into church tonight on the verge of tears. I was low on sleep, not wanting to be in Indiana at ALL, and feeling very emotional.
Really what I wanted to be doing was laying on my bed falling asleep to music. I didn't want to be at church.

But I was.

"Good evening! How are you today?!" The greeter at the door asked me,
"I'm good, thanks!" I replied.

What the HECK?! Literally right after I walked in the door, I said under my breath, "no you're not, you liar! you're not 'good'!"

What if it had happened like this:

"Good evening! How are you today?!"
"ehh, not too good actually! I've been kinda sad all day"

But it doesn't...EVER.
THE response to the question, "how are you?" is ALWAYS "good, how are you?"

If every time people answer that question, they are honestly feeling 'good', why are there so many sad people in this world? Why do I walk through the halls at Penn and see girls crying? Why do people cut themselves and put themselves through pain? Why do people take drugs and drink alcohol? Why do I see depressing status's like "I miss so many things. This is bs. Why did this all happen? I'm just lost. My way is somewhere. And it's funny how I'm still friends with people that talked about me. And they brought things they had no right too :/ i hate you." on facebook? (literally....just looked on facebook and saw this.)

Maybe at school, you feel like you have to put on a front, and act like everything is okay all the time. People expect you to always be smiling, so you don't want to disappoint them. Honestly, sometimes I feel like that. But at church.......the place where followers of Christ from all over the place come together in unity to learn about God and become closer to Him.....why do we so often feel the need to still put on a face? I'm talking to myself too here, because I am constantly doing that. It doesn't make sense to me though.

What if, next time some asks you "hey, how are you?"

what if you tell them the truth?

4 Things I Hate

2010-10-18T14:38:00.001-07:00

1) Math
2) Penn Track
3) Disrespect
4) Going to the dentist

?

2010-10-18T12:42:00.001-07:00

If your attention span is your age plus 2.....why do we have 88 minute classes? Technically my attention span is only 19 minutes long.........which means you've lost me after 20 minutes max. Our classes are 68 minutes too long.

Everything Happens For a Reason

2010-10-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

In 4 years on the Penn High School cross country team, this is the first year I haven't made varsity.
At first it was really hard for me.
I didn't understand why God would put an end to something I loved so much, so early.
It didn't make sense to me.

But then I started thinking,
what if this happened for a reason?
My plan as of right now is to be a cross country coach when I grow up, I want to be a high school cross country coach...that would be THE life.
Until now though, I've only ever known life as a varsity runner.
I only hung out with the varsity girls, I only ran with the varsity girls, I only knew the varsity girls.
And on a team of over 100, who could blame me?
But being a JV runner this year has given me a chance to get to know some of the JV girls...the girls who make up the majority of our team.
I've gotten the incredible opportunity to lead these girls and make sure I'm always there if I'm needed. It's given me the chance to see varsity from the point of view of someone who is not as good as them... someone who didn't make the cut.
This entire season, I've tried to view my team as if I was training to be a coach.
I got to see what coaching techniques I liked and didn't like.
I watched to see how my coaches treated us, and whether I wanted to do the same or not.
I also got a chance to see how a team can look perfect on the outside until you dig deeper and see that that's not the case at all...just like a family sometimes.

I think the biggest impact this experience will make on me though is how I coach my JV runners. I will be able to relate to them too..not just the varsity runners. I'll know how it feels to work so hard and then just barely miss the cut off.

I honestly think this experience will make me a better coach when I'm older.

We'll see :)

Dance, Laugh, Have Fun :)

2010-10-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't met her, this is my best friend Cassandra Marie Hallam. She's pretty cool :) Here are some things she has taught me that I will never forget!

Awkwardness isn't a bad thing...

Dance like nobody's watching

Laughter truly is THE best medicine

Sometimes it helps to look at things from a different angle

A true friend is always there

Luke 18:17 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Change

2010-10-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today and yesterday about change.
I used to think I was okay with it...but I think I've been fooling myself.
I LOVE changing food, I'm totally fine with that.
Trying different food is so much fun for me, but I think that's the only kind of change I'm good with.

I started thinking about college, and how much my life will change:
-family
-friends
-cross country
-location
-church
-school

Those are all such good things, and I am so ready for the change in most of those areas.....but there are some things in life that I'm not ready to change, ever.
Friends, for example. I don't want to lose the friends I have now. I don't want our relationships to change, but I know they will. Hopefully for the better.

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This Is It.

2010-10-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday morning, October 2nd of 2010.
It's the morning of my last high school cross country meet ever.

Everyone is asking me how I feel; they know how much I love this sport. I don't really know how to answer that question, because I don't know how I feel. I've run Penn Cross Country for 4 years...there's been lots of laughs, smiles, inside jokes, parties, sleepovers, crazy pictures, unexplainable joy, and team bonding moments. There's also been lots of tears, injuries, frustrations, and exhaustion, but that's what has made my Penn CC career so memorable and incredible.
My body is worn out, it needs a break, and badly. My heart has fought against discouragement and disappointment... I need a break desperately, but I don't think I'm ready to end this chapter in my life.

As I walk around and reminisce about all the memories I've had with this team, I can't help but smile. It's been a good four years, and lots and lots of very fond memories.

My race, the JV race, is first: at 9:00am. We arrived at the park at 7:30, and we went to the bathroom and chilled for a bit, but now it's time to do our warm up. I call for all the JV girls to come to me so we can start our warm up; they don't listen, of course. I call again, a little louder this time; they still ignore me. Once more I try, then I give up. Mercedes, the other captain, yells and this time they all come. Finally. We do our warm up, and as we're running, me and Alissa talk about the fun times we had freshmen and sophomore years, and we laugh as we think about all our most embarrassing moments. After the warm up, we're running back and I see Bailey and Anton! I run and jump into a hug with Bailey, and then do the same with Anton.....I am so excited they came to see us! I spend the last half hour before my race talking to them. I get so indulged in conversation with them, that I almost forget I have yet to run my race. I look down at my watch and see that I have 20 minutes before I run.

My last high school meet.
Dang, those 4 years went fast.
I tell Bailey and Anton that I need to go focus on my race, and that I'll talk to them afterwards...then I spend some time in prayer. Finally, I hear Coach Opperman telling the JV girls to line up at the start line. Oh boy, this is it. I quickly strip from my warm ups and walk to the line with the rest of my team.

This is it. This is IT. I can't even talk, it's like I don't have the strength. We do our run out and circle up to pray. I ask Maggie to pray this time, because I just....can't. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to feel. This has been my LIFE for the past 4 years. Everything is about cross country...from my bed time to what I eat, even to what I wear. Everyone suddenly gets quiet as a female voice singing 'The Star Spangled Banner' spills out of the loud speakers, she's actually pretty good compared to what we usually get. We run back to the start line as the starter walks out into the middle of the course.

"On your marks"
We move from the dotted orange line to the solid white line.
Bang
The gun sounds, and we're off.
My last high school cross country meet.

100 Meters- Holy Cow. I only have 5000 meters left of penn cross country. Come on Heather, leave it all on the course. Go out with a bang. "Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way as to get the prize!"

500 Meters- Come on! Run in such a way as to get the prize! Run in such a way as to get the prize! Oh my word. What the heck. Whoever has that watch that is beeping really needs to turn it off. It must be 8:00. What?! No, it's 9:00. It's after 9:00. That doesn't make any sense. Why is her watch beeping?! SERIOUSLY TURN IT OFF! I'm not dealing with this. See you at the finish!

1000 Meters- Hmm....only 4000 meters left of penn cross country. This K will be the longest, it was on wednesday when we practiced here. God, give me the strength to finish this strong! I can do this! I CAN!! I'm going to go out with a bang, just like coach said! alskjdf I hate rounding this corner, I always have to slow down. Oh boy, these woods seem a lot closer together than usual. There's a lot of girls right here, and a lot of people cheering. Don't freak out, don't freak out, it's okay. You can do this! God, help me get through this part of the course! It feels like it's closing in! What the heck, Heather? You're being WAY over dramatic. "Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way as to get the prize!" "Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way as to get the prize!" Oh hey, I'm gonna run with you kay? Actually, I'm gonna pass you. Sweet! I did it! Oh come on, really? Well two can play this game. I'll keep passing you as many times as you pass me. And I WILL win.

2000 Meters- Aww, there's Maggie's dad! And there's my family! I have to run through this stretch of woods one more time in this race, I hate this next part. God, help me to run this! I want to glorify YOU with how I run! I want to show other's your light through how I run this race. If that means turning the other cheek if someone does something jerkish to me, I'll do it. "Run in such a way as to get the prize!!"
Yes! I got her on the hill! This is the last time I will see YOU during this race. Ahh shoot, I'm feeling tired. God, help me to keep up my strength! This is the most important part!

3000 Meters- You guys shouldn't be ahead of me, so I'm gonna pass you, mkay? Oh hey! There's that Northridge girl again. People keep telling her to stay ahead of me, but I don't understand that. We're not even racing that school today, they're apart of a different conference. Whatever! I remember who was cheering for me right here last year! Heyy! It's Courtney and Craig! Aww, I miss running against Courtney. I wonder how she's liking ISU? Dang, I feel really fast right now, I like running in these woods...they make me feel fast! Grr, I hate these stairs. Who puts stairs in the middle of woods? This is my last 1500 meters of my last meet in high school. Come ON! KEEP PUSHING! DON'T GIVE UP!! God! Please give me strength to keep going! I don't want to give any less than my best, I want to end my high school career on a positive note!

4000 Meters- Wow...that went by fast! Only 1K left. THIS is the last time I will have to go through these woods. 400 meters left. We ran this on Tuesday! I can do this! Pshhh easy! And a lot of it is downhill anyway. Come on! Leave it ALL on the course! THIS IS IT! Oh nooo you don't! You're not passing me, not when I'm this close to the finish line! Faster, faster, FASTER! Make sure one foot is touching the ground at all times, lean forward a little, swing your arms more, lean your head in. AL. MOST. THERE. YES! It's over. Wait. It's over. It's OVER?! No! It can't be over! I can't be done! Ahhh sweet. Here come the waterworks. Time to walk away now.

The rest of the day is good. I have fun cheering for my teammates, taking fun pictures, eating, talking, having a grape war with the boys who decided they were too cool to sit with us, and laughing a LOT.

It's bittersweet. I love Penn Cross Country. I've had lot's of good times. But everything comes to an end at some point or another, and this is the time for Penn CC to end. I'm reminded that I'm planning to run cross country in college too, so this isn't the end of the road for me. I suppose I'm okay with this conclusion...it was a good end. A very good end.
This is it. :)

**note: as I was writing this, I was remembering exactly what I was thinking at each point in my race. Those italicized thoughts were not made up!**

And the Winner is....

2010-09-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish everything bad in this world would just disappear.
poverty
robbery
child predators
rape
sickness
death

Even the minor things that seem so huge in the moment:
getting a bad grade
losing a game/meet
doing poorly in a sport
breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend
getting lost on the highway
forgetting to charge your ipod
getting in trouble for not wearing your ID

Wouldn't it be awesome if the world was PERFECT?
Of course it would! Life would be juussttt dandy.

But that's not how life works.

There is poverty, there are sick people who rape the innocent, and people do die. You're not going to always win, chances are you'll probably experience a break up at some point in your life (unless you're lucky) and okay, face it, who remembers to wear their ID every single day of the school year...? It's only been a little over a month, and I've already forgotten mine probably 7 times.

I think Satan really uses these circumstance in our lives to get us down and to instill negative thinking in us. When we "lose our way", he doesn't want us to "get back up again", he doesn't want us to "shine again". He wants us to stay on the ground so we lose our confidence...and then there's one less person telling others about Jesus that he has to worry about.

Does that not kind of sound like a challenge?
I am competitive. I like beating people.
And to me, this sounds like the kind of challenge I want to take on!
I'm so done letting Satan try and steal my joy. He's not going to get me down next time I do poorly at a meet.

Heather- 1
Satan- 0

Bad Days

2010-09-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I have bad days. Really bad days, like...'nothings going right' bad days.
Yesterday was kind of one of those days, not as bad as some, but it definitely could have been better.
It's days like that when I'm so glad I have people in my life who can put a smile on my face. There's a lot of people like that, but yesterday Cassie got to do the honors.

Teenagers

2010-09-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'm 17 years old...and as a 17 year old, I KNOW I get a bad rap in todays society.
Why? Because I'm a teenager, and teenagers are known for drinking irresponsibly, sleeping around, slacking in school, being apathetic about everything, and pretty much everything else bad about this world.
That seems to be the stereotype teenagers get nowadays, and honestly, I know a TON of people for whom that definition is accurate, but I also know a whole lot more who completely obliterate this overarching definition for what teenagers are today. Let me introduce you to just a few of them:

Maggie is 17 years old, and probably the kindest person you will ever meet. She is someone of confidence, beauty (inside and out), and commitment! I've never known her to back down on a commitment.

Maddie is 17 years old, and is super fun! She always jumps on helping me with my homework or studying, and she is someone who I know I can always go to and not be afraid of being judged. I've come crying to her so many times, it's ridiculous, and she never makes fun of me or teases me about it. She is ALWAYS there for me. Is this someone who fits the definition of a typical teenager?

Cassie is 17 years old, and she is the most down to earth, CHRIST confident person I've ever met in my entire life. This is someone who will tell anyone what she thinks...not to be mean, but because she honestly cares about them. She has her eyes on Christ, and not on the world.

Paige is 17 years old, and she hardly ever says a negative thing about anyone! Paige is the person who sees that lonely girl at the table, all by herself, and goes over to talk to her so she doesn't feel like an outcast.

Lindsey is 17 years old, and I don't think I've ever seen a frown on this girls face. She is ALWAYS smiling! You can't ever be mad at her, because as soon as you look at her, you start smiling! She's the happiest person I know.

Megan is 16 years old, and she's the most caring person I've ever known. For her birthday a few years ago, she asked for money so she could donate it to a foundation that gave bibles to people who didn't have any. Meanwhile...I was asking for clothes for my American Girl Doll :)

Not all teenagers are the same..a lot of them, yes. But there are also many people who break the norm of what we're all used to

Are you SURE?!

2010-09-18T13:53:00.000-07:00

"what are you girls up to?"
"we're going to cross country!"
"are you sure?"
"yes! we have a meet today!"
"okay, because we already busted a bunch of kids from Penn this morning"
"no, I promise! we're going to a cross country meet!"
"okay, good luck! oh, do you know where Wheaton Drive is?"
............

This was the first conversation I had this morning. And it was with a police officer.

Here's the back story.

It was 6:30 AM, and I was at Jen's house to pick her up for the meet...when a police officer came by, stepped out of his car, and shined his flashlight into my car. Thankfully though, he believed me when I told him we were going to our meet :), but it was....an interesting way to start this eventful day :)

This Week..

2010-09-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

...I learned that...

It's the truly great friends who confront you about something that may be an issue in the future, instead of gossiping about you behind your back.

"moot point" means that it's irrelevant and doesn't really matter

I find it easier to get along with people who are almost exactly like me, but it's the people who are very different from me that stretch me and make me grow...if I choose to work at it.

The SAT math portion is all about trying to trick you.

I read an essay about how homeschooling is more beneficial than school, and it's kind of making me want to drop out and homeschool. Too bad I don't have the self discipline to do that.

I have a one track mind. My dad's been telling me this since I was 3.

God has put people in my life for a reason.

I have bad taste in detective books? Or so I was told. I'm not so sure this is the case though.

Some people really annoy me.

I love to laugh.

The purpose of college is to get an education, not just to run cross country.

I have a lot of things to work on in myself.

If you add a number to the X inside the parenthesis, the line moves over to the left. If you add a number outside the parenthesis, the lines moves up.

Kindergardeners are really cute, but I don't think I would have the energy or enthusiasm to act super happy every single day if I was a teacher.

It's rude to text while you're talking to someone.

I would have so much trouble trusting a guy who flirted with every girl he met. I would probably come to his work every day to wait for him too if that was the case.

I love writing.

I have beautiful best friends.

Band-aids heal everything

Exhaustion

2010-09-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been completely worn out? Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually exhausted...or even all of the above? That's how I'm feeling right now.

Mentally exhausted from trying to keep my head above water in pre calc.
Physically exhausted from pushing myself too hard in cross country, on an unknown injury.
Emotionally exhausted from playing the role of the counselor with several of my friends.

This weekend will be good for me; I am looking forward to sleeping....

Hopes and Dreams

2010-09-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

I have a really big imagination, I love hoping and dreaming for things, and if I'm not careful, I tune out the world and just live in my dreams. This has never created too big of a problem for me, but it does mean that I get my hopes up extremely easily. Even with merely a passing thought; I dream up all these ways to see this person, go to this event, or be involved in this activity- so I'm also very prone to disappointment.

I was talking to my dad yesterday, trying to convince him that this thing I wanted to do was of the utmost importance, and the world might just end if I don't go. Okay, I wasn't that dramatic about it, but those are the thoughts I was thinking. He told me not to get my hopes up (yeah right) and that he would tell me in a few weeks if I could do it or not. Then he said that maybe he should just tell me 'no' right now, so I wouldn't be expecting it, and then he could surprise me if we do get to do it.

I realized then, that this hoping and dreaming is what makes life fun for me! It's what puts that smile on my face at the most random times, and what makes me smile when I'm taking the hardest test of my life. Even if I can't do this thing I want to do... I'll have lived it a thousand times in my head.

Note to Dad: Please don't take this post as my being neutral about going; that is soo not the case :)

Wrong :)

2010-09-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

I will never forget my freshmen year, when one of the senior girls on my team told me that no one ever leaves Penn High School a virgin.

That conversation keeps coming back to me, and I really just want to go up to her and say something to the effect of....."you were WRONG! I've been at Penn for 37 months. I have 8 months left. boooyahhh."

Laughs : )

2010-09-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

So today, I'm sitting with my 2 friends Nathan and Tori at practice, waiting for our workout and contemplating how we're going to run it. We had heard yesterday that our workout was an indian run...but it was at the marina, so we were slightly confused as to how we were going to make that work. Nathan decided to ask coach about it...however, what he took as joking, she took as being completely serious. This is how the conversation ended:
Coach: "This is cross country practice, not a nursery. If you don't want to run, you can go home and suck your thumb."

Needless to say, during that entire conversation, me and Tori were laughing uncontrollably, while Nathan sat there trying to keep a straight face as coach lectured him about being prepared for the more difficult courses and not being so lazy.

I laughed, really hard. That is not something I will soon forget.

(Left to right: Nathan, Me, Tori)

My Heroes

2010-09-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

All those men and women,
the ones who run races week after week,
month after month,
year after year,
and yet continue to come in last place....
those are my heroes.
THAT is what it means to truly persevere,
to endure and push on, even when it is the LAST thing they want to do.
Those men and women probably wont ever be paid to run,
and they probably wont ever break any incredible records
or qualify for the Olympics,
but they're doing what I hope to do my entire life:

They're running for the FUN of it!
Because they LOVE it!
NOT for the money, the fame, or simply because they're good at it.

They finish last, but they finish with a smile on their face, because they're doing something they thoroughly enjoy.

THOSE men and women are my heroes.

2010-09-06T19:26:00.001-07:00

Romans 9: "God doesn't count us; he calls us by name. Arithmetic is not his focus." (The Message)

This verse makes me wonder why I have to take math classes. It CLEARLY is of no importance.
Just sayin.

I love...

2010-09-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

1) running, more than anything in this world
2) riding my bike
3) going on walks
4) sun
5) listening to music
6) being by myself
7) hanging out with friends
8) talking on the phone
9) day dreaming
10) writing
11) understanding things
12) driving with my windows down
13) water
14) eating
15) running through sprinklers
16) Taylor University
17) having things to do
18) worshiping
19) schedules
20) knowing what I'm doing
21) being on time
22) learning new things that actually MATTER (ex: NOT math)
23) making people smile
24) making people laugh
25) road trips
26) romance movies

27) weekends/breaks
28) dances
29) smiling
30) looking at pictures
31) notebooks
32) reading good books
33) texting
34) crying about happy things
35) the smell of new running shoes
36) rain
37) the smell of burning leaves
38) Steak N' Shake
39) Notre Dame Football
40) getting weird looks from people when I'm singing and driving...
41) being told I look like I'm 12
42) thinking about the future
43) doing everything EXCEPT cleaning up my room
44) all those wonderful devices that make long distance not seem so distant
45) playing soccer with other people who aren't good at it either
46) facebook
47) goofing off
48) sappyness
49) 3 year olds
50) randomness
51) being captain
52) taylor swift
53) being a senior
54) my campers
55) camp adventure
56) reminiscing
57) deja vu
59) watching movies
60) being excited
61) seeing friends I haven't seen in an eternity
62) not giving up
63) beating people
64) getting things in the mail. from actual people, NOT colleges that I don't care about.
65) laughing
66) talking to people who are going through the same thing I am
67) giving people gifts
68) sending letters
69) reading my bible
70) running and laughing
71) t shirts
72) running shoes
73) singing/dancing along to my music in the shower
74) being accepted into colleges
75) weddings
76) dancing
77) clean socks
78) getting things done
79) REAL cross country courses
80) ice cream blizzards
81) climbing on trains
82) exploring drainage pipes
83) "our song" vs. "white horse"
84) people commenting on my blog and commenting/liking my facebook posts
85) shopping for school supplies
86) creeping
87) taking pictures
88) sleepovers
89) happy endings
90) irony
91) the amazing plan that GOD has for ME : )
92) sleeping
93) being right
94) my small group
95) teasing people
96) sarcasm
97) smiley faces
98) concerts
99) cornfields
100) my life :)

"Love, True Love"

2010-08-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

On Friday, August 27, 2010, I got the witness the most beautiful wedding ceremony I've ever been apart of. Never in my life have I seen a couple more in love on their wedding day then Seth and Sarah Bible!

Guess what?

2010-08-27T02:24:00.001-07:00

I got accepted into Taylor University : )

Why I Love Penn Cross Country

2010-08-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

1. Everyone on my team is so encouraging, we back each other up and help spur each other on we're feeling down.
2. We're a FAMILY. How many other sports teams get to say that?
3. We have the BEST coaches in the world.
4. We don't just run because we want to get better, we run because we love it. We run because it's FUN!
5. On a scale of 0 to Track on the Drama scale, we're at 1. We almost NEVER have drama on our team, because we're all close and we talk TO each other instead of behind each others backs. It's seriously ridiculous how much drama we have in Track.
6. The water park. Need I say more? Okay, yes, because none of you have a clue what I'm talking about. We have a route that goes past an elementary school with one of those water playgrounds, so when it's really hot outside, coach lets us take a detour and run through the water park.
7. Rain. I LOVE RUNNING IN THE RAIN! It's the best thing in the world!
8. Sprinklers. Once again, on hot days.....oh my goodness. Those are lifesavers, and they feel soo good : ). Don't worry though, we stay on the edge of the yards so as to respect the people who's sprinklers we're running through : ).
9. The meets are the best. Screaming 'fans' (aka our parents) that, no matter who you are, you always run faster past, and that anxious anticipation we get before the race. The watermelon we eat and water we down by the gallon after the meet. And how could I forget, that INCREDIBLE feeling you get when you do really well.
10. Bus rides : ). The 2 hour one to New Haven is the best, but all the long ones are so much fun! I guess it's one of those things where you just have to be there to know what I'm talking about.

I love Penn Cross Country : )

BCXC

2010-08-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

A Good Reminder..

2010-08-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains, and should I stumble again, still I'm caught in your grace"

God loves us no matter what! He will always bring us back into His arms, no matter how 'unloveable' we think we are, or how 'terrible' our sin was.

That song came on the radio on my way home today and for the first time, I really listened to the lyrics and couldn't help but think...wow!

I think it's a good reminder for all of us

My Dream

2010-08-12T18:49:00.000-07:00

My dream is to be a Cross Country coach one day.
A middle school one,
and then maybe a high school one.

I got this text from my friend Sammy today:

"Three years later is when I ran two miles and actually enjoyed it, coach. You must have done something three years ago"

Hmm...maybe I'm already on my way : )

Captain

2010-08-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

When I was a freshmen in cross country, the seniors were huge to me. They were so big and old and fast! To this day though, I only remember 3 of their names:
Sarah, Kelly, and Cece.
Sarah was the second fastest runner on the team. I loved her form, and I loved how she took charge. She was a captain.
Kelly was the one who yelled a lot. Let's just say I did a lot of sucking up to her. I don't like being yelled at. She was also a captain.
Cece was the super nice one. I don't actually remember if she was a captain or not, but I remember that I just loved her! She was super nice and I remember feeling horrible when I made varsity but she didn't.

It's funny though, of those 3 girls, the one I respect the most is Sarah. I respect her for her running, nothing else. She's the one who I think about every time I go on a run, because I want to run just like her. She's the one who comes to mind when I'm talking to the team or leading them in some way, because she always did such a good job at keeping us in check, and I want to do the same. Of course, there are things she did that I don't respect, and she didn't always treat everyone the nicest, but those are things I've learned from from her, and I truly hope that I do a better job at that part of being a captain then she did.

I want my team to like me as a captain, and to trust me, but I also want them to respect me and not try to get away with things simply because they are my friends. I think Sarah did a good job at that. Other people may think differently, but that's okay, it doesn't bother me.

Chick-fil-a!

2010-08-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

As of a few weeks ago, I am officially a Chick-fil-a worker!

Come in and let me take your order sometime!

Trust

2010-08-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

Trust:
1) reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2) a person on whom or thing on which one relies

"Now faith (Trust) is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1

Trust is not questioning your friends when they tell you that you look fine, because you know they will always tell you the truth.
It's believing in a God that you can't see or audibly hear.
It's knowing that your parents have your best interest in mind when they won't let you watch that movie or go to that friends house.
It's not freaking out before a race, because you know that all that training you did was not for nothing.

Trust is being separated by distance but still knowing that they really are who they say they are.
It's not getting jealous because you have no reason to be.
It's knowing that if you cross the line, you will be corrected
It's not worrying about the future, because you know that God has a plan that is unfathomable.

Trust isn't always easy,
It's not something that you are born good at.
It's something you have to work at....hard.
And it's something that,
if destroyed,
is the hardest thing in the world to build back up.
It's something we give out way too easily,
...or not easily enough.
Some situations require an immense amount of trust,
while others hardly require any.
But it's those
moments,
situations,
and people,
which require the MOST trust,
that strengthens us to the point of our greatest potential

Running

2010-08-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

Running is hard.

It requires enormous amounts of

endurance,

perseverance,

strength,

and energy.

And if you don't think you can do it,

or you think it will be too hard,

don't even waste your time trying.

Because running is 80% mental.

To be a good runner,

I have to keep myself going

by encouraging myself.

Or I will quit.

Running is hard,

and sometimes I honestly question my sanity

when I go out on runs.

Running can make me very sore,

and there have been times

when every muscle in my body will ache after a hard workout.

But,

Running is Fun.

Sometimes when I'm running,

I'll start laughing really hard,

and then wheezing and gasping for air because I can't breathe...

Which makes me laugh even harder because of how ridiculous I sound.

Sometimes when I'm running,

I'll start singing with my friends,

or, well, attempt to sing.

Running makes getting lost in the woods with your friends fun.

Running makes it okay to splash through puddles.

Running gives you a whole new appreciation for water,

and a whole new perspective on rain.

Running makes it okay to run through sprinklers,

and actually drink out of them...

...wait, normal people don't do that?

Running has connected me with people I never would have connected with before.

Running has given me leadership opportunities that I never would have had before.

Running has given me a whole new confidence level that did not exist before.

Running is hard.

but it's rewarding!

My personal favorite is how much I get to eat.

I mean,

Who would have guessed that a girl my size

Will eat 5 meals a day on any given day?

My work ethic before is no where near what it is now.

According to a stress test I took,

I have more endurance than most grown men that are fit.

I'm in a better mood on days that I run as opposed to days that I sleep in.

Running gives me an outlet for my extremely competitive side,

and it gives me the opportunity to take my anger out,

if need be.

Did I mention that running is hard?

Yeah.

It is.

The song "If You're Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins?

Sometimes I feel like that.

But I love it!

It's addicting.

It's my life.

My Best Friend....

2010-08-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

...just got baptized :)

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?"

Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented.
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." -Matthew 3:13-17

For Those Who Wait by Fireflight

2010-08-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

This is for those who wait

Another day, another waiting game
A little different but it's still the same
I am here, but where's the one I'm longing for?
I'm having trouble feeling all alone
Will my heart ever find a home?
I want to hope but sometimes I just don't know
I know I'm not the only one

So we sing a lullaby to the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire, let it set you free
When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

I want to open up my eyes
I know that all I need is time
I'm growing stronger every single day
God, I'm going to lean into You now
Letting go of all my fear and doubt
I can't do this on my own so I'll give You control
I know I'm not the only one

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it

2010-08-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

Waiting is....
steadfast, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear
"How long, Lord, must I wait?"
"Nevermind, child. Trust me."

The Scoreboard

2010-08-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

Taylor University (Upland, Indiana)
Education: They have my major AND minor, but I haven't gotten a good taste of what the education is like yet
Cross Country: We'll see in the fall, but their team is up there as far as Christian schools go
Dorms: Love it.
Campus: So beautiful! And not too big, but not too small either
Student Services (aka- admissions, quick responses, etc): Excellent. My time with one of the admissions counselors was better than I've gotten anywhere, and ALL of my emails sent during work hours were responded to within the hour (one exception, but that person had stopped working there)
Christian Atmosphere: Again, love it. They made me feel completely comfortable and not at all like an outcast. I love that they put emphasis on the 'christian' part, and they hold tightly to that.
Chapel: I can't really describe the experience I had here, but if I was picking a college based solely on chapel, Taylor would win by a mile
Location: 3 hours SE of me. Pretty much in the middle of no where. Perfect.

Bethel College (Mishawaka, Indiana)

Education: Very good! They don't have my minor, but they do have my major

Cross Country: I've run with the team several times and LOVE it. They battle back and forth with Taylor...so they're up there as well.

Dorms: Not the nicest..

Campus: Small, lots of trees, but pretty. I do like the campus activity

Student Services (aka- admissions, quick responses, etc): On a scale of 1-10......they get a 3

Christian Atmosphere: LOVE it! Very friendly

Chapel: The one time I went to chapel, it was an honors chapel so it was dead boring

Location: 15 minutes away. I can tell you exactly how to get there from here...which means if I go here, my life doesn't change much. Hmm.

Huntington University (Huntington, Indiana)

Education: Excellent
Cross Country: Not too sure...I wasn't interested enough to find out
Dorms: Ehh
Campus: bigger than Bethel's, not sure about Taylors. It was nice.
Student Services (aka- admissions, quick responses, etc): Pretty good I guess
Christian Atmosphere: Nooooo.
Chapel: We didn't visit on a chapel day
Location: about 4 hours away? Good distance

Nashville Final Day

2010-08-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

It was a bittersweet day in Nashville, Tennessee. Our last day in this beautiful city, but we left in style...spending it at a waterpark called Nashville shores. We went on a bunch of slides, a banana boat ride, and the lazy river...

and after 6 or 7 hours of that, we were pretty much exhausted

But the day wasn't complete until ending at the "Mellow Mushroom" for pizza that night!

So, that's the jist of our Nashville trip, hope you enjoyed the pictures! Thank you all so much for the prayers and support!

Nashville Day 5

2010-08-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

I only have this picture of Wednesday, because we didn't really have any time for pictures. We went to this ladies house that had, again, been all but destroyed in the flood. We painted the primer around the house, which was actually really fun! I got the paintbrush to paint the trim in the corners and around the windows. It was also really nice that we worked inside, so instead of being outside in the 90+ degree weather, we got air conditioning.

Nashville Day 4

2010-08-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

We went back to Lighthouse to finish up the painting job we started on Day 3, and Paige and I spent the majority of the day on the scaffolding, painting the trim around the windows. Eventually we started racing up and down the scaffolding to see who would win, and DC captured this moment just perfectly when I was trying to get down.....she won this round.

DC went around to everyone and said: "If you could make one face to show the world, what would it be? Do it now" And then he flashed the camera in our face. I had no time to think, and he scared me when he said "do it now"....so this is how my face turned out...cute huh? =P

My wonderful team after finishing our day of painting at Lighthouse!

We were treated to a great night of laser tag after a dinner of fast food, how fun!

Nashville Day 3

2010-08-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

We spent Monday at a place called 'Lighthouse', where people who were addicted to drugs could come and stay for free if they desired to change their life around. This organization allowed them to stay for free while they looked for a job, and then they would have to pay $125 a week until they graduated the program. It's a really neat thing they're doing! We painted the buildings all day!

Neither of us were quite tall enough to reach the top of the building, so I got on Paige's shoulders to try and reach the top...nehhh, still didn't work.

We went to down town nashville for dinner and shopping afterwards, it was so fun! I've never seen anything like downtown Nashville. Chicago doesn't have ANYTHING on this city!

We passed so many boot and cowboy hat shops, it was kinda unbelievable. The boots ranged from 20 dollars to 2000 dollars...literally. It was fun looking though!

For dinner, we went to this sweeet blues club called BBKings. It had really good food and great entertainment! This guy was so fun to watch, you can tell just by looking at the picture how into it he got!

This guy was a bit of a creeper...but isn't this a tight picture??

Downtown Nashville....beautiful!

Nashville Day 2

2010-08-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

We woke up that morning and get to dress up for church....

...at Cross Point Church! Wait, what? You've heard of this church before? Have I mentioned it a few times? Let's just say I was a LITTLE excited for church that morning, and it blew me away! The service was amazing, the worship was amazing, I loved everything about it!

After church we spent half a work day back in the neighborhood, and we got to see the river that caused so much devastation. This is a picture of a shed that got washed up into the trees during the flood!

We're ready to start working!!

Me and McCormick got under the house to pick up all the scraps of insulation and other trash that needed to be cleaned up

After the work day was complete, we were quite scratched up. My finger actually got infected from one of my cuts!

My lovely group :)

Nashville Day 1

2010-08-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

Our first work day was spent in a neighborhood that was just in front of the river that flooded, so the damage was pretty intense. The interesting thing about these houses was that they looked perfectly normal on the outside, but they were completely gutted on the inside. Our job was to tear off the siding so the construction workers could start over on the house. It was actually a LOT more fun than I thought it would be, I enjoyed the challenge of trying to tear out the stubborn boards and nails.

I didn't get a picture of what the house looked like before we started, but after 7 hours of working, this is what it looked like at the end of the day

Day 1 is complete! We were sweaty, dirty, hot, and tired....but we wouldn't have wanted to feel any other way

For dinner that night, we were treated to BDubs!

Nashville Day 0

2010-08-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

Our trip to Nashville, Tennessee was about 9 hours long. We drove up in a Charter bus with the best bus driver ever! After several hours in a bus with your best friends however, things start to get a little crazy...:)

It wasn't all fun and games though, we relaxed and listened to music....

..we also did staring contests.....seriously all week long.

We stopped at McDonalds for lunch and splurged a bit...how can you go to McDonalds and not get a McFlurry though?

We arrived at the hotel, found out our rooms, and then went to sleep immediately. Just kidding. We decided to take pictures of us flying over the beds.....Paige was a little tall for this activity though, and hit her head on the ceiling on the way up. This picture captures our expressions right after that happened :)

Meeting The "One" by Pete Wilson

2010-07-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

I get asked a lot of questions as a pastor.

How do I know God’s will for my life?
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why won’t the Titans just go ahead and pay Chris Johnson? (OK, I made that one up)

But one of the questions that comes up fairly frequently is do you believe in the “one?” Translation: Is there one person God has out there for me to marry?

I know this sounds so incredibly non-romantic but my answer is NO! God does not just have one person out there for you to marry.

Now, before you crucify me, let me explain.

I love my wife. I can’t imagine life without her. She became my “one” the moment I married her, but I don’t think she was ever the only person on this earth I could have married. I think there are a lot (that might be an overstatement) of women out there I could have married and actually been quite happy with (I’m not sure there are any other women that would put up with me like Brandi does though).

Just think about it. If one person married the “wrong” person wouldn’t it throw off all the other couples down the line?

OK, I’ll get off my soapbox and open this can of worms.

What do you think? Does the “one” exist?

Risen and Reigning. Camp Adventure 2010

2010-07-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

If I wrote down every single detail of my past week at Camp Adventure, I would be writing for hours and wouldn't get ANYTHING else done today. So, I decided to give you some bullet points of my week(:

-I got to spend an entire week in cabin 'Spring Beauty' with my one of my best friends ever! Not only that, but we also had 12 of the GREATEST campers EVER with us in that cabin!
-Satan thought he could ruin my week by distracting me from my purpose and job, but I gave that distraction to God and defeated Satan at the same time. Heck yeahhh :)
-I was moved to tears at how mature my entire group of campers were in Christ. It was inspiring. My boys are going to Penn next year, and I can't wait to see the change that comes to my school because of them!
-We all gotten eaten alive by bugs. Some of us got poison ivy. Yes!
-We partied (disco ball and all) for 2 hours in the cabin when we got stormed out of our activities
-I had the best co co ever!
-I got to serve my campers all week long
-I saw tons of campers give their lives to Jesus and recommit to Jesus on Wednesday night
-I got to see and be apart of some of the greatest skits ever on Tuesday night
-I slept FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER during horizontal hour on wednesday
-I jumped up and down, and sang, and worshipped, and danced every single day, several times a day.
-I cried, I laughed, I screamed, I yelled, I smiled...a lot.
-I paintballed and didn't get shot at all
-I high roped it up and made some friends who knew some friends;). I also jumped off the zip line for the first time ever, instead of scooting off like I have for the past 6 years
-I got blobbed by Tuff and according to all my campers and one of the camp staff, I pointed my toes and flapped my arms up and down. While keeping my body completely straight...I'm a freak:)
-I canoed and had fun tipping over everyones canoes. Katie, Dani and I flipped our canoe and hid under it so no one would find us. Then some of the boys came and knocked on our canoe....scared us so bad! Have you ever heard 3 screaming girls in a flipped tin canoe? It is SO LOUD
-I kicked some campers butts in dodge ball (and got my butt kicked).
-I wrote letters, talked a lot, prayed with and for friends, and took over 300 pictures
-I got proved wrong, and I got to prove some people wrong. ha!
-OUR CABIN WON CAMP BEAUTIFUL!! Probably the happiest day of my life, I kid you not. We decided to do something VERY risky on Friday of camp, and clean only one half of our cabin. On the left side, all the beds were unmade, suitcases open and a MESS, bibles on the bed, etc. On the right side, the beds were all made, floor was swept, suitcases closed and on beds. In the middle, we had a heart made of black torn up paper on the left and red torn up paper on the right. On the left, we wrote: "This is what we looked like before Christ" On the right we wrote, "this is what we look like with Christ". When Johnny announced the winner of camp beautiful, I screamed SO LOUD and Lindsey and I ran up to grab our 2 by 4. If you have never been to camp before, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Just go with it :)
-I got to be apart of THE BEST cluster ever (Susanna) with some of THE BEST counselors EVER!
-I slipped and slid down the slip n slide on Friday during Valley games, then participated in a counselor mud fight and watched as all the counselors played buk buk
-I danced like crazy at the dance on friday night....er wait, I mean the rhythmic movement celebration:)
-I did a flip off the high dive for the first time ever!

I had an AMAZING week at Camp Adventure! It wasn't like any other week I've ever had...but that happens every single year, so I shouldn't be surprised:)

Camper vs Counselor dodgeball!

Susanna cluster counselors: Left to right- Drago, Andrew, Ted, Eden, Spencer, Me, Tia, Ashley, Lindsey, Abby

Best group EVER! Riley, Christian, Alec, Tuff, George, Khalil, Drew, AJ, Me, Allie, Mckenna, Hannah, Dani, Peyton, Katie

Partying during the storm

Our winning cabin :)

We won girls honor cabin, and Tuff's cluster (oxford) won honor cluster!

We were quite proud of that 2 by 4 :)

Rhythmic movement night. We decided to re take the same picture we took with Seth 2 years ago! :)

Here's the story...

2010-07-01T15:15:00.001-07:00

After 3 years of doctors appointment after doctors appointment, and continuously getting asked what is wrong with me, you can imagine that I've grown quite tired of answering the same questions over and over again. Since my dad told all 2,117 of his closest friends on facebook that we were going to be in Indianapolis for my heart today, I decided to share a bit of the story with you.
Basically, it started in 8th grade, during track season. "It", being, my heart all of a sudden started racing while I was running. It was the weirdest feeling, I suddenly didn't have any strength to go on, and my heart was literally beating so fast and hard that you could see it beating through my shirt. My track coach thought I was on something when I told him about it, because it had stopped but I didn't know how to explain it. One of my friends told me that it was probably because I hadn't eaten any breakfast, so my intestines were eating themselves.
Nothing happened again until freshmen year, so we kind of forgot about it. Once is not a big deal, right? But gradually it started happening more and more often. I would be running, and I would feel my heart suddenly start racing. Then, my arms and legs would grow really heavy, and I was zapped of energy. It felt like I had one of those things that they stick on your arm to get your blood pressure....but it was over my entire body. We took test after test after test. Breathing tests, blood tests, EKGs, stress tests, etc. Every single test came back perfect.
"Oh, you're perfect! There's nothing wrong, you're very healthy!"
"This test shows nothing's wrong, just keep drinking water and you should be good!"
Really? Uhh..obviously your tests aren't showing everything, because there is something wrong with me.

It was frustrating, stressful, annoying. I hated it. Correction: I hate it. It caused me to not be able to run in 2 of my meets. And many more of my practices. I had to wear this huge cardio net for 2 weeks while I ran, to keep track of my heart rate.

But then junior year came, and after a humongous amount of persistence on our part, we started getting closer to the answer.
Eventually, "There's nothing wrong with you" turned into, "There's definitely something here, we just aren't sure what", which turned into, "We're 80% sure it's this.....", which turned into, "You need to go down to Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis."

So, that's the story up until now. Today, we went to Riley, and basically what it comes down to is this: They're pretty sure I have something called Supraventricular tachycardia (SVT). This is how it's been explained to me a million times..everyone has two 'holes' in their heart. The electrical circuit goes around and around those holes, and that's what causes your heart to beat. I have 3 holes though, so every once in a while, the circuit gets caught in the extra hole, which causes my heart to pick up speed drastically (as in, 240 bpm+). The doctor prescribed a surgery (I can't remember the name of the surgery) where they will go in and actually burn that extra hole, so it can't get caught any more. I'll stay over night in Indy, and I'll be back to running a week later. Problem solved.

So, that's the story!!

Get off me!

2010-06-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been driving, and you look in your rearview mirror and someone is severely tailing you?

I mean...on your butt....I hate that!

A) It scares me really badly...

and

B) it's just plain obnoxious.

Have you ever slowed down just to tick them off?

Okay, I admit...I've done that a few times..........but I usually try to be mature and go over to the next lane! :)

I was thinking about that today, as I was driving and being tailed...and I thought I'd share it with the blogging world

One Way Do Not Enter

2010-06-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

I was at practice this morning, doing my stretches with the team, and I saw a sign that said:

"One Way

Do Not

Enter"

And it made me think of the song, "One Way" by Hillsong, which kind of goes along with John 14:6..."For I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one gets to the Father except through me".

But did you catch that last part? "Do Not Enter".

I wonder if some people think Christianity can be summed up with those 3 words? You gotta admit...some of the stuff we think up is PRETTY ridiculous.
God Tube?
My God's Facebook?
God Twitter?

Okay, really?

I think that sometimes, to people "on the outside", we as a whole can seem pretty exclusive. But that doesn't make sense to me, because we're supposed to love everyone and 'be Jesus' to them.

Just a thought.